Enlightenment
by Fayth3
Summary: Whoverse Las first round prompt- Miscommunication. Rory sudden realises why the Doctor isn't falling for Amy's charms.


The door creaked open as Amy finally finished painting her nails.

"Ah, Rory, whad'ya think?" she held up her hand. "Pretty enough to put a ring on?"

Rory sat on the bed, his face oddly pale.

"You a'right?" Amy frowned, "you look like you've just eaten a haggis."

Rory cleared his throat. "Uh, no, I'm...fine."

She leaned forward, feeling his forehead. "You don't look fine."

He said nothing and Amy eyed him dubiously.

There was obviously something wrong, something he wasn't going to tell her. Or so he thought.

Her aunt always said she should have been a police officer for real, she certainly had the interrogation technique down.

Amy tried honey first. "Come on, sweetheart, tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing."

"Rory." Her voice hid a warning.

He shrugged. "Really, it's nothing."

Amy folded her arms, stubbornness etched into every pore. "Rory."

Rory caved.

"The Doctor-" he swallowed.

"Yes?"

"- just hit on me."

Amy's lips curved. "What are you talking about?"

Rory nodded. "The Doctor just propositioned me."

"Don't be stupid!" Amy laughed derisively. "The Doctor doesn't do that."

"Well, he might."

"Well, he doesn't," Amy retorted patronizingly. "You probably misunderstood him."

Rory didn't appreciate her levity.

"I didn't misunderstand him, Amy. He was most definitely coming on to me."

"He doesn't do that sort of thing."

"Maybe not with you," Rory shuddered, "but he was very blatant about wanting me."

"What did he say then?"

He rolled his eyes. "Well, lets see, uh... he told me that he wants to take me to bed. That it'd be a spiritual experience that would change me forever. He's met people who taught him all sorts of positions, some of which seem to defy gravity, " Rory swallowed hard, his face seeming to leech of all color, "and he's looking forward to trying them out inside a new body."

Amy burst out laughing.

Rory folded his arms. "I'm not making this up. The Doctor said..."

"What did I say?" The Doctor poked his head in the room. "Did I miss a funny thing? I'm always missing funny things. Usually while I'm busy saving the planet. What was the funny thing? No, hang on, tell me later. We're almost there."

He vanished and Amy giggled at Rory.

"Oh, yeah he couldn't keep his hands off you."

The Doctor's head reappeared. "Oh, Rory, I've got something special for you." The Doctor winked once and disappeared.

Vindicated, if not slightly afraid, Rory turned to Amy who had frozen, her jaw around chin level.

"Amy?" Rory said tentatively.

Nothing.

"Amy? Oh, dear god, he broke you."

"No," Amy said, her face reddening. "I just might break him. Come on, Rory. I've got a few words to say to that man!"

* * *

-

The Doctor eyed the console with acute deliberation, gauged the distance, weighed the calculations and then slammed the rubber mallet on the entry couplings.

He grinned as the annoying resonance faded.

"Now, that's more like it!" he kissed the mallet and then stuck out his tongue. "Ugh, disgusting!"

He threw the hammer over his shoulder. "Note to self; never kiss a mallet."

He reached forward and pressed a few buttons and the TARDIS dematerialized with her signature 'vworp'.

The Doctor grinned maniacally. "I love it when you do that."

He heard footsteps and turned as Amy strode into the room.

"Ah, there you are, Pond, we've arrived at-"

SMACK.

"Ahhhhhh!" The Doctor clutched his aching cheek and stared at Amy with a horrified expression. "What was that for? You hit me. You can't hit me, you're not a mum!"

"No," she said, "but I am a girlfriend."

"Fiancee," Rory coughed.

"Fiancee," she corrected without missing a step, "And when someone flirts with my bloke there's gonna be slapping, all right!"

"Right," he winced in confusion. "What?"

"You, Rory!" Amy pointed at the aforementioned boyfriend who tried to appear invisible.

"Yes, this is me, that's Rory and this is my cheek which you've just slapped!" he snapped. "None of which explains itself."

Amy seethed. "Don't play innocent with me. You hit on my boyfriend-"

"Fiancee."

"-fiancee!"

The Doctor gaped. "I did not!"

"Did, actually," Rory insisted.

"I thought you and River had something or you were above all that stuff. But now I find you're trying it on with Rory!"

"Pond."

"Well, Doctor-"

"Pond!"

"-it's not gonna happen!" She opened her mouth to continue her tirade.

The Doctor banged his fist on the console, muttering a soft apology to the TARDIS. "I have no idea what you stupid apes are talking about, but I have no intention of sleeping with Rory!"

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"No, well yes, very much yes."

"You said you wanted to take me to bed!"

"What?" The Doctor's face twisted and then he groaned in realization. "No, no, no. Go look outside."

"We're not leaving until we've sorted this!" Amy protested.

"Look outSIDE!" the Doctor shouted.

They followed his arm and Amy peered outside, taking in the mist covered mountains topped with elegant white mansions, millions of steps descending into glistening oceans.

The Doctor followed, slamming the door.

"Up there," he said, "The Potala Palace where the Dalai Lama showed me some interesting things about herbs and enlightenment. Made a _new man_ out of me."

He glared pointedly at Rory.

Amy clapped a hand to her mouth. "Rory, you great idiot!"

"What? I don't get it, where are we?"

The Doctor sighed. "Where I wanted to take you. Rory, Amy, welcome to _Tibet_."


End file.
